Author Bio & Stories

  • In which Michael Keaton repeatedly touches the lives of Maria Conchita Alonso and her son, Samir from Office Space, with the power of forgiveness, temporary employment, and hockey.

  • In which a football team fires bazookas in an inexpensive-seeming foreign country, because Ernest Borgnine's ghost told them to. This does not please ethnically ambiguous despot Henry Silva any more than you think it might. Spoiler alert?

  • In which Andy Dick says awful things to everyone nearby, but does so on purpose, while movie cameras are running, in the service of what's probably the single most offensive movie ever covered in Sportsflicks.

  • The Last Boy Scout is pretty easily the nuttiest film ever made about professional football, and one of the crazier films of its era in general. Naturally, it looks more and more realistic by the day.

  • Bodybuilders run wild in the streets and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jeff Bridges pose off for the love of Sally Field amid an atmosphere of general genial buffness. (It's good.)

  • Burt Reynolds was going through a hard time in his life when he made the 1993 un-classic The Man From Left Field, a singularly vain vanity project dedicated to sharing his personal turmoil, Dick Howser fetish, and a bunch of saddish Florida State in-jokes.

  • The wit and wisdom of the only new name for the Washington NFL Team that's nearly as offensive as the old one. It's morning in Raljon, MD or somewhere.

  • May 14, 2014
    A Minor Consideration

    The Atlantic League of Professional Baseball is very much not the Major Leagues, which was easy enough to notice at the Camden Riversharks' "Costanza Night." But also that's not an insult.

  • Amazing Grace and Chuck isn't very good, and is -- despite the best efforts of Alex English, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gregory Peck and others -- frequently very not-good. It's almost well-meaning enough to make up for that.

  • April 9, 2014
    Don't Always Believe

    The Ultimate Warrior was a memorable wrestler and a grandiose homophobic jerk. But for a generation of fans, some of whom happen to be gay, Warrior was our grandiose homophobic jerk.