Author Bio & Stories

  • Possessing a roughly equal level of relative truthiness, campaign trailers and wrestling vignettes have significantly more in common with one another than you'd realize. Or probably would be comfortable with if you think about it too hard.

  • Sports' position as a moral force has slipped in the last few decades. It's time for them to make a comeback.

  • With WrestleMania Sunday, it's time for The Classical to present a WrestleMania Preview THAT CAME FROM THE VAULT. Today, it's HHH vs. Sting.

  • March 24, 2015
    The John Cena Problem

    Through no fault of his own, John Cena has become an avatar for what ails the WWE. But is it too late to fix it? 

  • March 17, 2015
    Head Games

    Chris Borland is the latest in what's been a mass exodus of players seemingly in their prime leaving the NFL for greener pastures. And the reaction to his exit says almost as much about the problems in the industry as the reasons he's leaving in the first place. 

  • The world of professional wrestling is one largely built on the idea of good and evil. But in a world of moral relativism, is there anything they can do to work to start working from a fixed point again?

  • It's been exactly a year since the inanity of the #HijackRaw movement entered our lives, and it's been exactly a year too long. 

  • January 23, 2015
    Deflate Yo Ballz, Son The Clog

    Not all cheating is equal, and some cheating can be fun, or at the very least, funny. But we've lost the ability to tell the difference, and it's hard to imagine us getting it back. 

  • An excerpt of an excerpt from the Wrestling Issue of The Classical Magazine, wherein David Shoemaker (AKA the Masked Man) and Nick Bond (AKA The N1ckster) discuss Keeping up with the Kardashians, 30 Rock, and Mystery Train. Also, wrestling.

  • September 2, 2014
    The Washington Team Name The Clog

    With the question now likely "When" and not "If" regarding a name change for the Washington NFL team, some nice folks have compiled a list of viable alternatives, along with a mock logo or two.